ground me

i've been thinking too much lately. there are three or four people who i know understand me very well- with whom i can sit down and just start talking, and eventually all of the pent-up pensiveness begins to flow, and actually materializes into good conversation. i look at that experience as touching base, a sort of grounding, a feet-to-earth moment that helps me connect with myself before i get carried away with all of the over-analysis.

all that from simple conversation!

i would like to say that i hate analyzing things but am compelled to do it - but in truth, i love analyzing things. i can't help it- there is so much to learn from every situation that i very rarely wish to just leave it alone. but more than that, i do it most when i'm bored. and boy, am i bored.

well. maybe bored isn't the word. i mean, everyone's life takes on some sort of routine, no matter how exotic or frenzied or glamorous it seems on the surface. even if i lived on the moon, i imagine i'd sleep in basically the same place everyday and go to the same market to buy moon-food or whatever... hello. that's life.

i think it's great that there's a lot going on and we're busy with friends and family and all- that's a good way to spend one's time, with people one loves. but it would be nice if we had more time to spend doing nothing - not the nothing that is a diversion, but the nothing that is appreciative of all the things going on that we're usually making too much noise to hear.

ugh, i don't know what my point is today. i want to CONNECT! i want to sit in the grass and just talk! i want to forego a play or a movie or a party one time, and instead gather in a little group and touch base with some people (and more importantly touch base with myself)! it's been like a million years since i've had the kind of conversation which, just by talking talking talking, you come closer to understanding yourself... i'm going to make a phone call tonight :)