write or wrong

last night and today i was feeling pretty bummed- just a lot of things piling up on top of one another, and making me feel frustrated. some of these things may be out of my control, but my reaction is always the one thing i can control, even in a negative situation.

at the same time, i have to be honest with myself. i think it's really important to acknowledge how i'm feeling- to actually feel it and move through it, instead of shut it off and not let it be expressed. sometimes, in the midst of "feeling how i'm feeling" or whatever you'd call it, i am at my most creative and productive. i like the writing that comes out of my angsty moments more than the writing i do because it's time to sit and write. of course i'm introspective and extremely analytical- but without those qualities, i wouldn't be the kind of writer i am. and i feel lucky to be able to write my mind. i feel like i look at things- at situations- with an eye towards writing of them, and therefore i process things on a different level than i would otherwise. i think my writing gives me vision. even as it gives me, unfortunately, all the more fodder for extreme sensitivity and analysis.

in light of today, i find myself wondering- what difference does it make, really, if people don't behave the way i expect them to? the difference is all in how i take it. i was angered today because i felt let down- but in the end, life is simple and i need to learn to keep it that way.

i'd much rather be authentic than be perfect, but in the end, i want to move forward, as well. not at the cost of thinking, or writing. but maybe at the cost of some of that drama :P