and suddenly it's march

today was the first of many wedding functions this month- this was a small one, a dressed-down one; just family, at my house, putting up a red cloth over the door, which signifies to the neighborhood that there is a wedding going on at this house. i guess that's what it would signify, anyway, if my house was in india. here, in this suburb of chicago, who knows what message we're sending ;)

now that things are underway, and the events i've waited for are suddenly occurring, it feels unreal. the friends who are flying in and driving in are emailing me with flight info, or asking for directions- or waiting for a visitor's visa (hurry up, M!)- and i'm almost dazed at the thought of all of these loved ones coming here just for me. to celebrate with me as i dress up and walk into this new exciting stage...

i feel really happy and really lucky and really loved- also a bit nervous and stressed. i begin to think, is this natural, this decision to live with someone for the rest of my life? and share everything with him? this is going to be one ongoing lesson- learning to compromise and communicate and share and adapt- in theory, it seems almost crazy to sign up for such a thing! but for some reason, there is nothing i want more....