always

we got our proofs back from the photographer- now comes the fun part, looking through them together and choosing the keepers, choosing sizes and designating black-and-white and color and even sepia...

the wedding was only a couple of weeks ago but suddenly, with these pictures in my hands, i feel like it's a part of my history already. right now, right this second, i could easily put the makeup back on, put the outfits back on, put my hair up and look just like i do in those pictures. but in ten years, twenty, fifty... there will be a point when i look at those pictures and that girl, that moment in time, that present, will be irrevocably past. it's difficult to imagine life in fifty years; i only know a few things for sure.

my parents and brother will always be such a part of my blood and bones and mind that i give up trying to tell them what they mean to me and fool myself into believing that "i love you" says it all; the ohio st exit on interstate 90, heading towards the city, will always cause a fresh pang of loss bulleting into my chest; the sight of the skyline and the sound of tracey chapman will always give me a renewed sense of inspiration - not to mention a sense of pride in the entire human race; drifting off at night, lazily watching taher sleeping next to me will always make me feel like i am this very lucky person who figured out the secret to life.

i know that as the days pass i will gather more "always". i look forward to the unknowns in life, but it is a comfort to me that i have familiar markers alongside the mysteries- when i look back fifty years from now, it will be these that i will use to tell my story. it will be these that i use to tell my story along the way, as well. stay tuned :)