settling in...

so it's been a couple of weeks and life is slowly starting to acquire a routine again, albeit a totally different one than either of us knew before...

so far, it's definitely been a lesson in compromise and space and all of that, but it is also exactly what i expected: a LOT of fun :) i still feel, in some ways, like we are playing house or something- buying groceries, organizing our apartment, washing dishes- it all feels a bit surreal. i still can't believe the wedding is actually over, the planning is over, and our new life is beginning. has already begun. i still can't believe there are boxers in my laundry basket- how weird! but laundry issues nothwithstanding, i'm having the time of my life. and here i thought college was the peak of young experience!

i know it's only been two weeks, but i really don't want this experience to fly by- i just want to try to appreciate this unique, special situation as much as possible- even several years from now, i want to be just as amazed as i am now that i get to be with my best friend all the time. that i get to live with him! and build a life with him! how lucky!

i guess during the wedding my thoughts turned to sakina a lot- i noticed her absence at this event and wasn't sure how selfish to be- feel sorry for myself? feel happy for her? she was my cousin, she was like my sister, she was one of my closest friends, and now i find her becoming part of my personal philosophy. it's natural that i still think about her everyday- her death affected my entire world last summer. i think it will continue to affect me for a long time. but lately when i think of her i am moved to let the colors shine more brightly and the experiences be more intense- and stop mourning. because, it seems to me, i'd rather smile when i remember her.

i feel celebratory- i feel happy. i feel married :)