shukr

about six weeks ago, i went to the dentist and sustained a minor injury while i was there. i had a shot of novocaine and it went directly into my nerve, causing some numbness under and on one side of my tongue. while alhamdolillah everything is fine now, six weeks ago it was scary; because it was a nerve injury, nobody really knew whether it would heal or not. the dentists told me it would be a slow recovery, and i had no choice but to wait. and worry.

the thing is, this injury wasn't the kind that would lower my quality of life or anything. but it was a hindrance, an inconvenience, even a source of minor pain. it was on my mind constantly because it felt funny and was uncomfortable.

interestingly, the result of all this was that i felt incredibly lucky. something was wrong with me, and it just made me realize all the things that are not wrong with me. all the health i really do have. i found myself saying alhamdolillah every time my parents or taher asked me how my tongue felt, if there was any change, etc. i felt unbelievably blessed.

several times a day, i would accidentally bite my tongue- hard- because it was numb on one side and i couldn't avoid it. it hurt. a lot. once the gum under my tongue actually bled while i was eating; it was horrible. and yet i kept feeling lucky, despite it all. i wasn't trying to feel lucky, or trying to remind myself that i have an able, healthy body; the realization would simply wash over me whenever my tongue issue irritated me.

things are fine now, and i do not have that daily reminder of how lucky i really am; and weirdly enough, my sense of shukr is not so pronounced. or maybe that's not so weird- maybe it's just human....?