hajj. two and a half weeks. and counting.
on december 17th, taher and i leave for hajj. december 17th is coming up quickly and i have a mix of emotions about this journey we are about to experience. our hajj sabaq has not yet commenced and as a result, i feel wholly uninformed. of course, several people who have experienced hajj have told me what to expect, but i suspect there is no real preparation for a journey this immense.
i feel lucky to be going for hajj, inshallah, at such a young age. i feel frightened that i will be swallowed up by the sea of millions and suddenly find myself lost. i feel excited that i will see the Kaba in a matter of weeks, the axis upon which all my namaz is balanced a concrete place that i can see and touch. i feel anxious that i will not remember all that i need to remember, will not pray the correct things at the correct times, will not be a perfect haji. i feel overwhelmed by the thought of having my ehram spoiled by impatience or frustration or even less-than-100%-cotton. but above all i feel that a catharsis is going to take place. that i am going to feel more spiritual than even on ashara. that i will emerge freshened and renewed and... better.
while i've been saying all along that i can't wait for hajj, suddenly it seems i don't have to wait anymore. we will be leaving in 16 days. a mere 16 days.
i feel lucky to be going for hajj, inshallah, at such a young age. i feel frightened that i will be swallowed up by the sea of millions and suddenly find myself lost. i feel excited that i will see the Kaba in a matter of weeks, the axis upon which all my namaz is balanced a concrete place that i can see and touch. i feel anxious that i will not remember all that i need to remember, will not pray the correct things at the correct times, will not be a perfect haji. i feel overwhelmed by the thought of having my ehram spoiled by impatience or frustration or even less-than-100%-cotton. but above all i feel that a catharsis is going to take place. that i am going to feel more spiritual than even on ashara. that i will emerge freshened and renewed and... better.
while i've been saying all along that i can't wait for hajj, suddenly it seems i don't have to wait anymore. we will be leaving in 16 days. a mere 16 days.
Labels: hajj
...Natural is the static
3 Comments:
I Know a few people going for hajj this year, and although I've never been, I can't help but feel this elated joy for them, almost as if I'm going myself.
A tip from a friend's experience, don't take your own camera, but take about a dozen disposable cameras. If one is confiscated/stolen, no worries, that's only ONE roll. Plus, you can come back and send them in to an online film developing company (like snapfish) that'll send you prints in the mail & put them online digitally, too.
Good luck on this incredible & awesome journey & don't forget to take notes when you're actually free (even if you're terribly exhausted!)
or maybe this will be one of those experiences you mentioned before, the ones you just take in, and not record.
i think i will take the time to record, whether by journal or by camera. when i return to chicago, i want to retain some of the feelings of hajj, and the best way to recall myself in that experience will be by a picture or by words i wrote in the moment...
Everyone and their mom is going for hajj!!!! I want to go too! :/
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