six days left

we leave for hajj in only six days. this is an incredible fact; i remember when hajj was still 7 months away, and very much abstract. a week from today, i will find myself across the world and i have no idea how it'll feel.

i have travelled across the world before, and always felt confidence. even when my destination was a country i hadn't previously visited. i knew i would get there, see things, explore, take it all in. and that is what i will do this time as well, but for some reason it is still a huge blinking question mark in my mind.

hajj.

what will this be like?

my comfort is that i am going with taher. whatever unknowns hajj has in store for us, at least i'll be with my home-base. and in addition to taher we are going with people we like and trust.

just a few days ago, i was driving along, singing along with a CD (tracey, of course), and i suddenly thought how very thoroughly i would soon be lifted out of regular, daily life. i think once i am performing hajj, the thought of driving along I-90 and listening to music, watching snow blow across the highway in front of me will seem completely alien. hard to imagine that which i take for granted seeming utterly out of place.

i guess that happened to some degree when i lived in egypt; i would imagine returning to chicago and it would seem so distant and so different than what i was living at the time, that i couldn't quite believe that chicago was actually my permanent reality.

i can only wait and see. i find myself more nervous, but also more excited, as sunday the 17th draws near.