beginning
before leaving for hajj, many people told me to adopt a "roll with it" attitude; they assured me that things would not always go smoothly and that there would be annoyances and hardships during the journey. as much as i could from my comfortable existence in chicago, i tried to follow this advice.
our itinerary to medina was a long and convulted one; we traveled from chicago to dublin to frankfurt to doha to kuwait to medina. certainly, there are more direct routes, and knowing this it was difficult to be buoyant about the way our journey was beginning. yet somewhere between dublin and doha, the realization that i was about to embark on hajj began to hit me. once i felt the world start to fall away, that "roll with it" mindset came pretty naturally. turns out it would serve me well over the next month.
when we finally reached medina, it was late at night and taher and i were soon settled into our room. we were rooming with alifiyah and mohsin; cozy quarters and excellent company. we pondered the significance and history of medina for perhaps a few minutes before drifting off to sleep. we would be in medina for a few days before leaving for mecca, where our hajj would begin.
the first time i saw masjid al nabawi in medina, the weather was perfect and the sun was shining down upon the masjid. it couldn't have been more perfect. at masjid that first day, i was lost amidst a crush of people in a variety of colored clothing and colored skin. we literally had to fight our way into the inner chamber of the masjid; it was my first taste of ibadat alongside every other muslim in the world. being bohra is a rather secluded thing, i guess. i was reminded that Rasulillah farmayu that to do ziyarat at his kabr mubarak was akin to visiting him during his lifetime. i felt breathless that we were about to do this. so far hamd and shukr was constantly on my lips. i felt like i was surrounded by history with which i have a deep connection; it is my own history, after all.
days went by in medina, filled with visits to various significant masjids, a bit of shopping and a lot of visits to masjid al nabawi for balagh. on friday, though, something happened that would change the entire trip for me.
friday evening, it was almost maghrib and i was with my usual cohorts - taher, alifiyah and mohsin. i stepped off a curb and my ankle rolled under me. immediately i felt the searing pain that told me this wasn't a twisted ankle but rather a sprained one. i stood around clutching my foot for a while and then for some reason i dropped to the ground, unconscious. this is why you travel with people you trust; i was literally in the middle of the road. on the road. someone thrust a juice box into my hands and after a moment i felt a bit better, but i knew as we made our way home that things were going to be difficult from this point forward.
the entire next day, i sat in the room with my ankle propped on several pillows. and while everyone else did balagh and went to eat and lived their lives, i grew depressed alone in the room, thinking about all the walking i had ahead of me. hajj means tawaf and safa marwa and walking to arafa and camping out and walking over mountains and being on your feet constantly. hajj does not leave a lot of room for sitting around with your foot on a pillow. medina was the most relaxing part of the journey, and i knew that in only two days we would reach mecca and things would accelerate greatly.
despite taher's assurances that it would all work out, i was scared and worried. hajj is usually once in a lifetime and i did not want to fail because i couldn't walk.
the next evening we wore our ehram and departed for mecca. being in the pure white of ehram, i began to force myself to have some perspective. my ankle hurt, true, but i was here for a larger purpose and i had no choice but to push forward.
early monday morning, we went to baitullah. i saw kaba for the first time and i saw the seething mass of people surrounding it and became inwardly frantic. while everyone else gaped and took in the sight, i squeezed my eyes shut from the pain in my ankle. and breathed. and made a decision. this first day, we had to accomplish omra. this means tawaf (seven times around kaba is one tawaf) and safa marwa (crossing between two hills seven times). i told myself to not speak of my ankle to anyone; to refrain from all complaint until our omra was finished. i had no intention of causing further worry or slowing anyone down.
the significance of my task suddenly became my focus. if this was a battle between the physical and the spiritual, there was no way an ankle was going to come between me and my hajj. as always, move forward.
we entered the crowd around kaba, became part of the sea of people. it is so croweded that taking a full step is difficult; as a result, several people kicked my ankle and after a while it was just pain. it didn't matter anymore. what mattered was that i could overcome it. after all, i was at kaba. everyone i knew in the world was facing here as they prayed namaz, and i was standing at it. the center of the world. the focal point of millions of muslims. it was later that someone mentioned to me that it was christmas day; when i think of my state of mind and the things i was experiencing, the very concept of christmas celebrations seemed utterly foreign.
our itinerary to medina was a long and convulted one; we traveled from chicago to dublin to frankfurt to doha to kuwait to medina. certainly, there are more direct routes, and knowing this it was difficult to be buoyant about the way our journey was beginning. yet somewhere between dublin and doha, the realization that i was about to embark on hajj began to hit me. once i felt the world start to fall away, that "roll with it" mindset came pretty naturally. turns out it would serve me well over the next month.
when we finally reached medina, it was late at night and taher and i were soon settled into our room. we were rooming with alifiyah and mohsin; cozy quarters and excellent company. we pondered the significance and history of medina for perhaps a few minutes before drifting off to sleep. we would be in medina for a few days before leaving for mecca, where our hajj would begin.
the first time i saw masjid al nabawi in medina, the weather was perfect and the sun was shining down upon the masjid. it couldn't have been more perfect. at masjid that first day, i was lost amidst a crush of people in a variety of colored clothing and colored skin. we literally had to fight our way into the inner chamber of the masjid; it was my first taste of ibadat alongside every other muslim in the world. being bohra is a rather secluded thing, i guess. i was reminded that Rasulillah farmayu that to do ziyarat at his kabr mubarak was akin to visiting him during his lifetime. i felt breathless that we were about to do this. so far hamd and shukr was constantly on my lips. i felt like i was surrounded by history with which i have a deep connection; it is my own history, after all.
days went by in medina, filled with visits to various significant masjids, a bit of shopping and a lot of visits to masjid al nabawi for balagh. on friday, though, something happened that would change the entire trip for me.
friday evening, it was almost maghrib and i was with my usual cohorts - taher, alifiyah and mohsin. i stepped off a curb and my ankle rolled under me. immediately i felt the searing pain that told me this wasn't a twisted ankle but rather a sprained one. i stood around clutching my foot for a while and then for some reason i dropped to the ground, unconscious. this is why you travel with people you trust; i was literally in the middle of the road. on the road. someone thrust a juice box into my hands and after a moment i felt a bit better, but i knew as we made our way home that things were going to be difficult from this point forward.
the entire next day, i sat in the room with my ankle propped on several pillows. and while everyone else did balagh and went to eat and lived their lives, i grew depressed alone in the room, thinking about all the walking i had ahead of me. hajj means tawaf and safa marwa and walking to arafa and camping out and walking over mountains and being on your feet constantly. hajj does not leave a lot of room for sitting around with your foot on a pillow. medina was the most relaxing part of the journey, and i knew that in only two days we would reach mecca and things would accelerate greatly.
despite taher's assurances that it would all work out, i was scared and worried. hajj is usually once in a lifetime and i did not want to fail because i couldn't walk.
the next evening we wore our ehram and departed for mecca. being in the pure white of ehram, i began to force myself to have some perspective. my ankle hurt, true, but i was here for a larger purpose and i had no choice but to push forward.
early monday morning, we went to baitullah. i saw kaba for the first time and i saw the seething mass of people surrounding it and became inwardly frantic. while everyone else gaped and took in the sight, i squeezed my eyes shut from the pain in my ankle. and breathed. and made a decision. this first day, we had to accomplish omra. this means tawaf (seven times around kaba is one tawaf) and safa marwa (crossing between two hills seven times). i told myself to not speak of my ankle to anyone; to refrain from all complaint until our omra was finished. i had no intention of causing further worry or slowing anyone down.
the significance of my task suddenly became my focus. if this was a battle between the physical and the spiritual, there was no way an ankle was going to come between me and my hajj. as always, move forward.
we entered the crowd around kaba, became part of the sea of people. it is so croweded that taking a full step is difficult; as a result, several people kicked my ankle and after a while it was just pain. it didn't matter anymore. what mattered was that i could overcome it. after all, i was at kaba. everyone i knew in the world was facing here as they prayed namaz, and i was standing at it. the center of the world. the focal point of millions of muslims. it was later that someone mentioned to me that it was christmas day; when i think of my state of mind and the things i was experiencing, the very concept of christmas celebrations seemed utterly foreign.
Labels: hajj
...Natural is the static
1 Comments:
Zahra is a trooper with her sprained ankle, she didn't complain and we, ME especially, are very proud of her.
Significant is right. The journey was so significant that being back seems, well insignificant. Everything here pales in comparison to our hajj and I (don't think I'm alone in this) am having some major culture shock being back.
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