hotmail revisited
recently i switched email addresses, and in the last few days i have been going through my old account and reading old emails. the ones i really loved i have saved on my hard drive.
reading these old emails was a lovely experience- i normally only save the ones that mean something to me, and thus going through the folders i found one letter after another that made me realize, again, that i have some really wonderful people in my life. i had this previous email account for ten years and thus with certain people i could actually see an evolution in our relationship. i saw the difference between the first emails that flew between us and compared them to the ones that were just sent last week. i found a growing familiarity; it felt great to have proof that that does happen.
i found songs that taher had written for me. i found conversations that dipped deep and skimmed shallow. quick one-liners from various roommates. declarations of feelings. baby announcements.
i found an email from the day saifuddin first said "mama" to farida. that is an awesome email. i found emails from meryam and angie right after my wedding and the words they used brought me real, unadulterated joy. i found emails from my dad and my brother and my aunt telling me to keep writing about my experiences in egypt; in their own ways, they told me they loved to read what i wrote. what better motivation is there than knowing your family is proud of you?
i was in cairo when 9/11 happened and i received outpourings of concern from friends and family. was i okay? was i affected? what was going on where i was? i was in thailand when the tsunami hit and i received more outpourings of concern from friends and family. ok? affected? what was going on? i kept these emails; they are a reminder of how genuinely people reach out towards one another.
i learn yet again: i have what i need.
reading these old emails was a lovely experience- i normally only save the ones that mean something to me, and thus going through the folders i found one letter after another that made me realize, again, that i have some really wonderful people in my life. i had this previous email account for ten years and thus with certain people i could actually see an evolution in our relationship. i saw the difference between the first emails that flew between us and compared them to the ones that were just sent last week. i found a growing familiarity; it felt great to have proof that that does happen.
i found songs that taher had written for me. i found conversations that dipped deep and skimmed shallow. quick one-liners from various roommates. declarations of feelings. baby announcements.
i found an email from the day saifuddin first said "mama" to farida. that is an awesome email. i found emails from meryam and angie right after my wedding and the words they used brought me real, unadulterated joy. i found emails from my dad and my brother and my aunt telling me to keep writing about my experiences in egypt; in their own ways, they told me they loved to read what i wrote. what better motivation is there than knowing your family is proud of you?
i was in cairo when 9/11 happened and i received outpourings of concern from friends and family. was i okay? was i affected? what was going on where i was? i was in thailand when the tsunami hit and i received more outpourings of concern from friends and family. ok? affected? what was going on? i kept these emails; they are a reminder of how genuinely people reach out towards one another.
i learn yet again: i have what i need.
Labels: relationships
...Natural is the static
3 Comments:
I have some that maria would send to me when she was downstairs and she would run up to see if i saw it yet!
you know, right after reading your post i went to my sent messages to see what i had written :p
zahra bhen! i know what you're talking about, because, although my meager two years can't compare to your ten, i went back to my first emails and marveled at the way relationships stretch and grow. the internet world is neat because we are taking meticulous records of our lives without even feeling it.
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