36 weeks

in a matter of weeks, everything will change drastically and i find myself wavering between a semblance of preparedness and a panic attack.

of course, i'm not worried about how i'll feel once i see this baby's face and hold it for the first time. once that happens, i fully expect biology and instinct and love to take over and i'll welcome the chaotic rollercoaster to whisk us away as we become parents. but having never been there or done that, all i can do is anticipate at this point...

as i contemplate our last few weeks of being alone together, with our relatively carefree existence intact, i cannot believe months and months and months have gone by. and that somehow i have managed to create a fully formed human being inside my body from nothing but pure potential. and that now it's almost ready for the world! it's fascinating. and it motivates me to take not only fantastic care of the brand new human, but better care of myself as well. this magical machine that can somehow manufacture newborns deserves a better regimen of diet and exercise, and with all the changes that are soon to come about, i think i'll add this to the list.

anyway. the next time i blog, i suspect it'll be from the flip side of this experience. stay tuned...