moving right along

isn't it funny how memories take on the form of a freeze-framed image in your mind, a sort of moment-in-time snapshot? i have little snapshots in my mind- sometimes a series of them that make a little flip-book movie... and yet the thing about memories is that they only tell a little fraction of the story. if i were to make a collage of these little mental images, i wonder what a tale it would tell.

do you always miss the previous stage because it's easy to forget that it wasn't all perfect? i think i do.

you know, sitting in class in high school, i'd daydream about the way i wanted to mold my life when i busted out of there- i very much felt like i was stuck in this boring, predictable, awkward high-school phase and as soon as i could leave, *life* would begin. and although i now know better than to ever wait for life to begin, at that point, i think i may have been right. because the last 7 years have been a series of "this is the best possible life ever! i hope it never ends! oh no, it IS ending! what am i going to do...? oh, wait, this is good too! no, wait, THIS is the best possible life ever! i hope it never ends!...." etc. and yet at every turn i've looked over my shoulder and kind of regretted investing so very very much in what came before, because i miss it.

yeah, i don't know. i can draw definite distinctions between this part of my life and that one, but in the last few weeks/months i feel like something else has ended and something new has begun - and i am really not talking about my master's here. hmmmmmmmm.

i'm going to call this stage the "shrug and let go but not so much that you, you know, drop it" stage.