sak122

Happy 21st birthday to you… last year on your birthday, t and I brought you a cake in the hospital. it wasn’t the best birthday you’d ever had, I’m sure… but this year I hope... I know you’re celebrating in a way I can barely imagine… I bet it’s amazing, the time you’re having- I bet you don’t give a moment’s thought to last year and how much that birthday left to be desired…

I miss you though- here, life goes on. my wedding is approaching. This huge turning point in my life, the point from which everything will be drastically different- i remember last year, discussing it with you, being excited that you would be my rock through it all, making lists, thinking of things I’d forgotten, telling me to stretch it out as long as possible, coming up with ideas, fussing with my hair until you were satisfied… it’s because of how often that we talked about this moment that, now that it’s here, I miss you all the more.

More than that, it’s the fact that in your wake that spot has been left empty. I had no idea how much of a sister you were to me until now, when I am reminded on a daily basis of how much I need one.