grace period

as we begin to get more contributors for our book, i find my thoughts turning to my own essay; what will i write? i feel, as i have mentioned before, a sense of responsibility towards the hajj i have recently performed. we are taught that after completing hajj, we are given a 70-day period in which none of our deeds are written. we have blank slates after the day of Arafa and that blank slate remains for 70 days.

i knew that i would use those 70 days to form new habits. to figure out my ideal and work with dedication to reach it.

the grace period ends in seven days. 63 days ago, i stood before khuda t'aalah and i prayed and asked and vowed. i walked out of arafa and i felt genuine renewal. and now i feel like my entire life has changed.

i doubt anyone would detect a difference; only the ones who are closest to me even know what i learned about myself during hajj. but i know that nothing is the same, and i want to write about this in my essay for the book.

it is the only thing on my mind and yet it is so abstract and so intangible that i don't know if i can put it into words.