what is the perfect wedding?

mine. ours, i mean. so many people have said that on their wedding day, everything is a blur and they look back and find that there was a lot they didn't notice. i expected that- especially since i knew saturday would be a long day, a varied, hectic, crowded day.

but this wedding weekend was not everything i had imagined. it was everything i dreamed, instead. i understood, this weekend, how much the people in my life had to do with this wedding going so wonderfully. obviously, there were some tiny details that didn't go smoothly, but, as everyone told me, it all worked out. and better yet, whether it was all going exactly as planned or not, i enjoyed myself completely. i was in the moment. i found the peace of mind and the time to talk to people, to enjoy the presence of those who had traveled far to be there with me.

that is saying a lot. not one second of it was a blur: the endless photographs are etched in my mind. when i think of the crowd of people, i see individual faces. i remember the food, i remember who greeted me and what i said to them. i remember smiling even when i wasn't being photographed. i remember when my earrings felt too heavy and when i was too occupied to even notice them.

but the most poignant memory that i have of this weekend is that i was surrounded by almost every single person i care about, all there at one time- and that was what mattered. marrying taher is already the best thing that's ever happened to me- it just felt over-the-top that my loved ones would go out of their way to celebrate this with us.

what i found was that many people, strangers to each other before this wedding, ended up bonding. friends and family all met one another and became friends among themselves. this only underlines, in my mind, that i have chosen some pretty amazing people as my friends- that i am a part of a larger family now that these amazing people have become friends with each other. and that my family is a group of pretty wonderful people as well- i couldn't have chosen more loving people for parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins.

i feel like i've said this a thousand times already this weekend, but i'd like to say it again- thank you for coming and thanks for all your help. it was the perfect weekend.

and suddenly it's march

today was the first of many wedding functions this month- this was a small one, a dressed-down one; just family, at my house, putting up a red cloth over the door, which signifies to the neighborhood that there is a wedding going on at this house. i guess that's what it would signify, anyway, if my house was in india. here, in this suburb of chicago, who knows what message we're sending ;)

now that things are underway, and the events i've waited for are suddenly occurring, it feels unreal. the friends who are flying in and driving in are emailing me with flight info, or asking for directions- or waiting for a visitor's visa (hurry up, M!)- and i'm almost dazed at the thought of all of these loved ones coming here just for me. to celebrate with me as i dress up and walk into this new exciting stage...

i feel really happy and really lucky and really loved- also a bit nervous and stressed. i begin to think, is this natural, this decision to live with someone for the rest of my life? and share everything with him? this is going to be one ongoing lesson- learning to compromise and communicate and share and adapt- in theory, it seems almost crazy to sign up for such a thing! but for some reason, there is nothing i want more....