Summer begins

Summer has begun. Our morning routine has evolved over the years as the kids have grown and changed. As of now, we are going to bed late because of daily masjid in Sherullah. So the kids get up a little bit before I do, and they know their summer schedule.

Get dressed, pray fajr namaaz, come downstairs and eat your breakfast, do your academic and madrasa homework, do your tadreeb, and then go play! 

They have been spending hours and hours outside with the dozen neighbor kids who are their age. It's been wonderful for Taher and I to watch them play and explore and run around outside. They found a baby bird and helped it back into its nest. They found a dead garter snake. They collect bugs. They are planning a lemonade stand with the other kids. They play City and cops n robbers and sharks n minnows and they have soccer tournaments. It's awesome. Alhamdolillah for the million kids on our street.

The kids are impressing me in their own unique ways. It is fun to watch.

Nooriya is beyond confident. During tug of war at Field Day two weeks ago, she told me that she singlehandedly won the contest against much bigger kids and that her team, behind her on the rope, weren't doing anything but chit chatting while she pulled their way to victory. Not sure how accurate this is, but I love that she assumes that she is stronger than several larger children.

At her ballet recital, she didn't want to leave the stage. On rehearsal day she was actually disappointed that there were so few people in the audience, and I had to reassure her that on recital day there would be hundreds of people. That satisfied her. She was a total ham up there- she loves the attention. It's cool to see someone brimming over with confidence this way.

Yusuf meanwhile made a hifzing niyat for Sherullah. And he woke up for sihori today and ate like a champ and then went back to bed after fajr. He is taking his rozu very seriously and is now playing outside. 

He is showing dedication to namaz and rozu this Sherullah and I am impressed that he is absorbing the spirituality of the month. 

Alhamdolillah :)

Proud Momma Moment

Nooriya came home today and told me that a few kids (friends of hers, actually) were being mean to her and calling her names. I asked her what she had said back to them, and she said the only thing she said was "Please stop calling me names." But they didn't listen to her and kept calling her names.

I asked her how she felt about it, and she said it was their problem if they were rude, and not her problem. 

Which is something I have told the kids a million times.

If someone is unkind, that doesn't mean you lower your standards of behavior towards them. Stay kind. What others do isn't your problem.

She has clearly internalized this message. She told me they were being rude, and then she shrugged it off and went on with her day. Back to her usual cheerful strong self.

I could not be more proud. If she has the tools to deal with these situations at age 6- tools that I don't even know if I fully have yet - then she will be a happy person all her life, inshallah. She has power over herself and she knows who she is. The poor attitudes of others isn't going to change that.

I see in my confident little girl the strong woman she will inshallah become. 

Alhamdolillah.

Eid!

Today was Eid. One of my very favorite days of the year.

I have been reading people's reflections as Sherullah draws to a close. People are thinking about what they want to carry forward from Ramazaan, what they want to retain. How they've done. Their resolutions, their wins, their shortcomings. 

While I am certainly also thinking about what the past month has meant to me, today I am fully in the present. I am no longer in the routine of the past 30 days. Masjid every night. Rozu every day. Nocturnal schedules, focused ibadat, dehydration headaches, so much Quran, so much satisfaction, so much striving.

I am also not yet in the post-Ramazan days. Withdrawal from the schedule has not yet set in, I have not yet figured out how the past month will affect my next months- spiritually, mentally. I have not yet reestablished a "normal" schedule. I have not yet slept a full night. 

Instead, I am only in the now. The one day, Eid, that is suspended between Ramazan and post-Ramazan. The day we celebrate. The day my community members - the people I have known since infancy - are so, so happy. So dressed up. Exchanging greetings and gifts and laughs with abandon.

I love Eid. I feel love and I feel loved. And whatever happens tomorrow, today is a remarkable day. A magical day. A day out of time, in which I don't have to reflect upon yesterday or decide about tomorrow. 

Side note- Eid 2015 was red-letter for Yusuf. He has been coveting the Xbox One that has sat on the raffle table for the past month, walking by it daily and telling me, "I hope we win that!" I knew that the chances of winning the one thing he wanted were slim, so all month, I have told him, "Yes, that would be cool! But if we don't win, it's ok! Alhamdolillah, right?" And he has dutifully answered, "Yes, alhamdolillah."

Today. The raffle began. They announced some prizes and winners. And then they announced the Xbox and Yusuf looked at me with hope in his eyes. I love that boy and his optimism :) But then. They called my name. I was in disbelief- there was no way this could work out this beautifully. But it was true, and Yusuf was cheering excitedly to prove it. I won the Xbox, and Yusuf got what he had been clearly doing the right kind of dua for all month :)

I am proud of my kids. They participated in the Quran competition and did beautifully. They were so comfortable on stage- they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Nooriya loved being up there. Yusuf was at ease.

All month, they have worked hard at hifzing. They have stretched themselves and they have achieved so much.

I learned from them this month. I decided to not only host family Eid dinner at our house, but to cook for it as well. I don't like to cook, and I don't hide that fact. But it occurred to me - I needed to stretch myself as well. I haven't cooked for my extended family in longer than I can remember. So I cooked. Yesterday and today, I cooked. I took a page from Yusuf and Nooriya's book and I tried something new. 

And my sasu sasra were happy, and proud, and they told me so. They are used to seeing me do interviews and have literary accomplishments, and they say they are proud, but when I cooked for them, they were truly delighted. And I was proud of myself.

So. On this magical day, Yusuf's wish came true, my enchiladas were delicious, I spent the day surrounded by family and friends, and all I can say is this: may my last word always be

Alhamdolillah.

Touching Base

It has been a while since I blogged. Lots of balls in the air :)

The new house is coming along well. Alhamdolillah. We had another walkthrough last week, and it is very exciting seeing everything framed out. It is becoming so easy to imagine the house being finished, where our furniture will go, what activities we will do where. 

We have had several of our family members come to the house and sign the wooden frame of the house in various rooms. All 4 parents and Yusuf and Nooriya came after Nooriya's ballet recital. Some of the brothers/bhabis/nieces have come, and the rest intend to. 

It's neat, having their signatures and well wishes and funny messages on the walls. When the drywall is up and painted and we live in the home, we will know that right here, inside the wall, this person wrote this, and that person wrote that. 

Built on the foundation of khaki shifa from Karbala, and framed with the love of our family. Alhamdolillah :)

On a different note, I lost a friend on Sunday. She wasn't well for a long time, and her passing wasn't a surprise, but the loss of her has reminded me of how much there is to do shukr for. I am eternally grateful that I got to speak to her on Saturday, the day before she passed. That she heard me and knew I was thinking about her. That her pain is over. 

Onward. We just have to keep spending our days teaching Yusuf and Nooriya to do shukr and to be kind. That's it.

Alhamdolillah.

Morning Routine, Winter 2015

Sometimes I like to write a post about our morning routine, just so I can see how much it has changed.

It represents how much the kids have changed. 

And it reminds me that the changes are good- they may be moving further and further away from chubby babyhood, but that's ok. They are relying on us in different ways than they used to, and they are closer to us in ways that wouldn't have been possible when they were still infants.

So. Nowadays, Nooriya wakes up first, around 6am, and goes potty and brushes her teeth. Then she changes into the clothes that I laid out the night before. Then she goes downstairs and grabs the cereal bowl and spoon and cereal off the counter, and puts them on the table, and then opens the fridge and grabs one of the two cups of milk that are on the lower shelf. She has her breakfast - sometimes early enough where Taher gets to have breakfast with her - and by this time, Yusuf is usually up. He goes through the same potty/teeth/change/breakfast routine that Nooriya just completed.

At this point, I am wide awake but trying to stay in bed until 7am. I usually accomplish this. I then walk out of my room and call Nooriya upstairs so I can brush and braid her hair, and I remind both kids to make their beds. If Nooriya doesn't have her glasses on yet, I remind her to put them on.

While I am getting ready for the day, the kids are either playing together or reading side by side. When I come downstairs and I see them sitting next to each other, noses buried in books, I am reminded of how different life is now. When they were babies, the morning meant crying and milk and diapers and wrangling and juggling - and I rarely got to shower in the morning. 

But alhamdolillah, although we have left the wrangling behind, they are still so cuddly. This morning they don't have school, so they came into my bed and we just hung out for 20 minutes before starting our day. 

Alhamdolillah. Did I say that? Is it even possible to say it enough?

Madrasa big girl

Nooriya starts madrasa today. Another milestone. She is so excited and I am excited for her. I am also sad that my baby is already 4! 

Quote

Nooriya, wiping her nose with a wipe: "I need wipes to get my body all strong and clean so I can have much less energy!"

Me: "What does energy have to do with being clean?"

Nooriya: "Shhh, Mummy. I'll teach you everything you need to know, ok? Don't worry."

small now

i haven't blogged in a while. i need to do it more often, so here goes!

every now and then i suddenly realize that my tiny children will one day be teenagers, and that, according to everyone who has older children, this will happen "before i know it" and "in the blink of an eye" and "so quickly". and in response to this realization i quickly scoop up the nearest one and plant kisses all over him/her and relish in how easy it is to make them laugh.

i know there are great things to come, inshallah, but i hear older kids don't cuddle freely and smile with their entire bodies and their skin doesn't look luminous even in harsh direct sunlight.

and if you tell them something super cheesy like, "hey, you know what? i loved you before i even met you!" their response is closer to the eye-rolling end of the spectrum than the nod-enthusiastically-and-offer-hugs end of the spectrum.

not that i can blame them. i say some super-cheesy things. and if karma exists, i will be the recipient of much eye-rolling in the years to come.

Happy 1st Birthday, Nooriya

Nooriya, you're ONE! a whole year old! it's been a long, slow, fast, wild, hectic, peaceful, calm, chaotic, exciting, frustrating, completely awesome year. here is to about a hundred more!

a year ago today i began the day not knowing that by 5 pm i would have delivered you. you surprised us all, and you are still surprising me every single day.

i cannot believe how high you climb, how curious and relentless you are, and how you already know exactly how to make me laugh. you seem so small compared to your big brother, but you really don't let him push you around. you're just a cool little girl.

you already speak a handful of words and you've been walking for a while, and that's all because you are a total go-getter. i am sure we are in for some interesting exchanges in the future.

at this moment you keep knocking down the recycling bin and i cannot concentrate on what i am writing. i think a video of what you are doing at this precise moment would speak louder than any blog post i type up, so maybe i will end here and just play with you. because now you seem to have climbed halfway up my leg and your nose is running on my pants and one of your ponytails has come out and now you've gone to the table and eaten a cheerio off the floor.

darling, you move fast.

I LOVE YOU. be happy, stay gorgeous, keep on truckin.

waras mubarak, Nooriya!

Nooriya's 1st waras is this Friday- our tiny newborn is now a rambunctious toddler, and it's been an honor to watch her develop so far.

taher and i talk a lot about our own perspectives when it comes to this relationship between us and Nooriya, and how much we have changed and accomplished over the past year. but really, it's Nooriya who we should applaud- her list of achievements in the last 12 months are endless. she is walking now, and when i think of how vastly different that is from her first month as a tiny, swaddled infant, i realize that she is just amazing.

all babies learn to roll and laugh and walk, and Nooriya is not different in this regard, but to me she is outstanding and unique and the most beautiful girl in the world. amantobillah.

mubarak, baby girl. i love you.

going places

nooriya started taking steps a couple of weeks ago, but they were not controlled steps- more like, "woah, woah, i'm moving, ahh..." and then she'd fall down. the fact that she was doing this at all at 10.5 months of age was impressive to me, since yusuf was in the "that looks dangerous- i think i'll just stay here, close to the floor" category until just past his first birthday, at which point he decided to risk it and take some steps.

last night, nooriya actually got up and just sauntered across the floor for about 6 steps before my clapping, yelling and hooting scared her and she dropped to a crawl and started crying. sorry, nooriya! moms are excitable.

they have such different styles, these two. yusuf definitely does his share of noisemaking and jumping off of things and running around and around and around the room, but more often than not you will find him sitting with a puzzle or telling you the difference between a bison and a buffalo (something about the horns, i guess), while nooriya goes off to scale a wall or something. she will sit quietly only if the planets align in just the right way. otherwise it's one adventure after another with this girl.

i already know which one of them, in high school, will actually learn physics while the other just memorizes the formulas.

a long way from aapo

these days, yusuf has a vocabulary that constantly surprises me. he knows words that are very difficult to define, and i know he learned them by just absorbing their meaning, but i am still very impressed at the nuances that he understands.

how did he learn words such as "instead" and "already" and "thinking"? i seriously don't get it.

and in the meantime, nooriya over here is crawling (not gracefully, but offically crawling), and as i type this she has made her way into the foyer and is navigating her way directly towards the shoes. i see what's ahead in the coming months - gates that have been open will soon be closed and yusuf will either have to learn to manipulate them open or live in confines he hasn't experienced in over a year - but for now i'm thrilled. she is mobile and curious and brave, and now she is over by the stairs. i guess we'll add "speedy" to that list.

i like how you are

yusuf loves elephants, school buses and nooriya. get on the floor and pretend you are an animal- any animal- and you will make his day. tell him what something is and he will answer, "that's right" and nod like a schoolmarm. catch him doing something he shouldn't be doing and he will give you a smile that is positively studded with mischief, but also so charming that you will choose to ignore the transgression. how did he learn to do that? i mean, seriously. also his new favorite thing is to not only wash his hands and face after a meal, but sneak his plate into the bathroom sink as well and give it a rinse. he thinks he's helping, but yesterday i found a soggy, empty raisin box in the sink.

nooriya loves taking ridiculously short naps, spitting up huge amounts of milk and laughing really loudly for almost any reason. tickle her face, bounce her up and down, bring yusuf into her line of sight, and you will be rewarded with giggles that sound like rainbows and butterflies and other summery, shimmery, yummy things. bring a mirror into her line of sight and she turns the charm on, trying to make friends with that baby in the mirror. man, she likes that baby.

just what i wanted...

...although it has nothing to do with me.

yusuf and nooriya's surprisingly lovely relationship, that is. sure, yusuf occasionally takes back a toy or a book that he feels nooriya is stealing from him. but even when he does that, he gives her something else to distract her first. which is rather kind and caring, coming from a 2.5-year-old.

when he walks into the room and sees her, he exclaims, "hi nooriya! HI!" and runs towards her. on her end, she lights up, all smiles, legs kicking, trying to aim her rolling in his direction.

when he wakes up from a nap, he wants to see her. her fussing usually stops when he bounds into the room.

i mean, wow. i know they'll have their not-so-lovely moments, but right now i am loving this. a 2 year old boy isn't gentle with anything (many destroyed belongings of yusuf will attest to this), but with nooriya, he knows that he has to be a little more careful.

and my favorite, favorite part- when she is crying, he'll come over and hold her hand. and coo softly. and give her sweet smiles. and my even MORE favorite part? when he does all this, she stops crying.

it's magical. i hope this lasts, in some form, forever.

learning to juggle

we came home from the hospital 2 weeks ago today, and yesterday was my first day alone at home with both kids. it went smoothly because i figured out a schedule beforehand that would help me juggle yusuf's needs with nooriya's. it also went smoothly because nooriya takes a nice, long nap after each nursing session; this gives me a chance to spend a lot of alone time with yusuf.

since i took over yusuf's daytime schedule again (the past two weeks it's been taher or one of our four parents who have been doing most of yusuf's care, while i concentrated on nooriya and, secondarily, myself). even though today is only the second day that i have been the one to wake yusuf and dress him and do his diapers and his meals, etc etc, i can already see that he's feeling good about it. things are back to normal for him, since mummy is the one who is around all day with him. sure, there's a baby around also, but he's tolerating her presence for now. once she starts touching his toys, this may change.

anyway. right now the baby is sleeping and the toddler is eating raisins. they are making my 2nd solo day manageable, and i am beginning to think i can actually handle this in the long run! check back in a few months to see if i'm still sane :)

thank you, nooriya, for being a calm, content baby. you're awesome. and thank you, yusuf, for being dependable and routine-following. you're awesome as well.

Nooriya

last monday we welcomed Nooriya into the world. so far, so good- it's nice to be doing this the second time around, and to feel so much more confident about how to care for our newborn. things are just much less drama-filled and we are taking it easy, figuring out nooriya and the way she likes things, and not second-guessing ourselves nearly as much as we did when we first had yusuf.

i guess it's helpful that we have yusuf around as proof that we did a good job the first time around, and can do so again :)

hopefully no colic comes around this time. we are filled with wonder at the way she eats and then sleeps, and only cries for fixable reasons, and seems pretty content most of the time. yusuf is a happy, cheerful toddler, but was a majorly unhappy infant for the first four months of his life.

anyway. family of four. it's amazing :)