reading these old emails was a lovely experience- i normally only save the ones that mean something to me, and thus going through the folders i found one letter after another that made me realize, again, that i have some really wonderful people in my life. i had this previous email account for ten years and thus with certain people i could actually see an evolution in our relationship. i saw the difference between the first emails that flew between us and compared them to the ones that were just sent last week. i found a growing familiarity; it felt great to have proof that that does happen.
i found songs that taher had written for me. i found conversations that dipped deep and skimmed shallow. quick one-liners from various roommates. declarations of feelings. baby announcements.
i found an email from the day saifuddin first said "mama" to farida. that is an awesome email. i found emails from meryam and angie right after my wedding and the words they used brought me real, unadulterated joy. i found emails from my dad and my brother and my aunt telling me to keep writing about my experiences in egypt; in their own ways, they told me they loved to read what i wrote. what better motivation is there than knowing your family is proud of you?
i was in cairo when 9/11 happened and i received outpourings of concern from friends and family. was i okay? was i affected? what was going on where i was? i was in thailand when the tsunami hit and i received more outpourings of concern from friends and family. ok? affected? what was going on? i kept these emails; they are a reminder of how genuinely people reach out towards one another.
i learn yet again: i have what i need.