Saturday, January 31, 2004

here in dubai

tomorrow's my nikah... it's going to be exciting. i mean, i know my entire life will be different after the wedding, but after the nikah, will things really change? i wonder... we'll be married, and that is a huge change, of course... but until the wedding i'll still be just living at home and doing the usual.... every year, the day before my birthday, i wonder, "will 24 feel different from 23? will 25 feel different from 24?" so now i'm wondering, "will nikah-fied feel different than not nikah-fied?" i can't wait to find out :) :)

we did the forms and stuff last night, and it was completely different than i had expected. i know i, as the bride, needed two witnesses to say that i was entering the nikah out of my own happiness, etc etc, but what i did not expect was that my part in the whole nikah process was actually quite similar to taher's- and just as active. true, on the big day itself, he's the one in front of my dad and the person doing the nikah, and it would seem that he is the only one of the two of us actually doing anything- while i just sit and observe. but now that i know the behind-the-scenes of the nikah process, i have changed my mind completely. and like my part a whole lot more.

because now i understand that before the nikah can even take place, before the day can even arrive, the girl has to swear an oath that is like a prerequisite to the entire proceedings... and it goes, basically, like this- "i am entering this nikah willingly and i am giving these two witnesses the authority to speak on my behalf and say so, at the actual time of the nikah. i am also giving my father the authority to be the person to whom taher makes his oath, at the nikah."

so. i'm looking forward to tomorrow, to the big subgus (parade), to the intimate majlis, to aqa moula of course!, to qadam bosi. and to the nikah as well ;)

Wednesday, January 28, 2004


yay :)

the sculptor's gift

near my house, on a street i often drive down, is a disheveled, nondescript house set a little bit back from the road. it's a house i would never, ever look at twice, if not for the fact that the person who lives there has been giving a gift to the people driving past, for at least the past 20 years. every winter, this person- i don't even know if it's a man or a woman- i've never seen him/her outside- has been creating these amazing sculptures in ice and snow, a new one every week as long as there is snow, right at the edge of the lawn, by the road. the sculptures are impossible to miss and i'm sure that everyone driving past, like me, slows down and gazes at the newest creation before driving past.

these sculptures are not statues; they are much more dynamic than that. the images he creates seem to move; they seem so lifelike that i am amazed they are simple snow and ice. the snow covering my lawn does not seem to have that magic that the snow on his lawn must- how else could he create these things? this week, there are two snowy bear cubs wrestling upon his lawn. one of them is rolling over the other, and it seems to be almost suspended in air- their claws are distinct; their fangs are distinct.

i have no idea if this sculptor is merely practicing his/her art, taking advantage of the snow- if he/she is even aware of how excited i am in the winter to drive by this house and see the latest image.... but it really doesn't matter. whatever his/her motives are for infusing a little excitement onto arlington heights road, i hope it goes on for quite some time. this act of doing what one loves and sharing it so others can love it too... as a writer i hope i can be half as mesmerizing :)

Thursday, January 22, 2004


Happy 21st birthday to you… last year on your birthday, t and I brought you a cake in the hospital. it wasn’t the best birthday you’d ever had, I’m sure… but this year I hope... I know you’re celebrating in a way I can barely imagine… I bet it’s amazing, the time you’re having- I bet you don’t give a moment’s thought to last year and how much that birthday left to be desired…

I miss you though- here, life goes on. my wedding is approaching. This huge turning point in my life, the point from which everything will be drastically different- i remember last year, discussing it with you, being excited that you would be my rock through it all, making lists, thinking of things I’d forgotten, telling me to stretch it out as long as possible, coming up with ideas, fussing with my hair until you were satisfied… it’s because of how often that we talked about this moment that, now that it’s here, I miss you all the more.

More than that, it’s the fact that in your wake that spot has been left empty. I had no idea how much of a sister you were to me until now, when I am reminded on a daily basis of how much I need one.

Thursday, January 08, 2004

what's up?

with only two and a half months until my wedding, i often feel as though that is all i have going on- day to day, the details are on my mind, the to-do lists are on my mind, the errands and phone calls and decisions are on my mind. i feel boring- like a caricature of the typical bride-to-be. and stressed!

i guess having nothing to do all winter except organize a multi-function wedding is the epitome of the victorian lady's dream...

too bad i'm not victorian :P