Eid!

Today was Eid. One of my very favorite days of the year.

I have been reading people's reflections as Sherullah draws to a close. People are thinking about what they want to carry forward from Ramazaan, what they want to retain. How they've done. Their resolutions, their wins, their shortcomings. 

While I am certainly also thinking about what the past month has meant to me, today I am fully in the present. I am no longer in the routine of the past 30 days. Masjid every night. Rozu every day. Nocturnal schedules, focused ibadat, dehydration headaches, so much Quran, so much satisfaction, so much striving.

I am also not yet in the post-Ramazan days. Withdrawal from the schedule has not yet set in, I have not yet figured out how the past month will affect my next months- spiritually, mentally. I have not yet reestablished a "normal" schedule. I have not yet slept a full night. 

Instead, I am only in the now. The one day, Eid, that is suspended between Ramazan and post-Ramazan. The day we celebrate. The day my community members - the people I have known since infancy - are so, so happy. So dressed up. Exchanging greetings and gifts and laughs with abandon.

I love Eid. I feel love and I feel loved. And whatever happens tomorrow, today is a remarkable day. A magical day. A day out of time, in which I don't have to reflect upon yesterday or decide about tomorrow. 

Side note- Eid 2015 was red-letter for Yusuf. He has been coveting the Xbox One that has sat on the raffle table for the past month, walking by it daily and telling me, "I hope we win that!" I knew that the chances of winning the one thing he wanted were slim, so all month, I have told him, "Yes, that would be cool! But if we don't win, it's ok! Alhamdolillah, right?" And he has dutifully answered, "Yes, alhamdolillah."

Today. The raffle began. They announced some prizes and winners. And then they announced the Xbox and Yusuf looked at me with hope in his eyes. I love that boy and his optimism :) But then. They called my name. I was in disbelief- there was no way this could work out this beautifully. But it was true, and Yusuf was cheering excitedly to prove it. I won the Xbox, and Yusuf got what he had been clearly doing the right kind of dua for all month :)

I am proud of my kids. They participated in the Quran competition and did beautifully. They were so comfortable on stage- they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Nooriya loved being up there. Yusuf was at ease.

All month, they have worked hard at hifzing. They have stretched themselves and they have achieved so much.

I learned from them this month. I decided to not only host family Eid dinner at our house, but to cook for it as well. I don't like to cook, and I don't hide that fact. But it occurred to me - I needed to stretch myself as well. I haven't cooked for my extended family in longer than I can remember. So I cooked. Yesterday and today, I cooked. I took a page from Yusuf and Nooriya's book and I tried something new. 

And my sasu sasra were happy, and proud, and they told me so. They are used to seeing me do interviews and have literary accomplishments, and they say they are proud, but when I cooked for them, they were truly delighted. And I was proud of myself.

So. On this magical day, Yusuf's wish came true, my enchiladas were delicious, I spent the day surrounded by family and friends, and all I can say is this: may my last word always be

Alhamdolillah.

the 39 steps

for Mother's Day, taher bought us tickets to a broadway show, so that's what we did this past friday night. these days we have a date night regularly, if not frequently. but we haven't gone to the city and seen a show in ages. and doing so on friday recalled, for me, a state of mind that i haven't had in a long time.

it wasn't that we were doing something new- rather, it was that we were doing something old- something that we used to do so often- that i felt like we had gone back in time 3 years.

i felt like a version of myself that i haven't glimpsed in a while, and it was nice.

on another note, as i was driving yusuf to school this morning, one house had a poster with a dated picture of a 2-year-old on it, and it read "happy high school graduation brian! we are proud of you." which made me realize that if their 18 year old was once 2, then my 2 year old will someday be 18. and way taller than me. which i cannot even comprehend at this point.

but it definitely makes me appreciate even more the fact that yusuf loves being cuddled and kissed and tickled. i'm thinking teenagers don't like that quite as much.

halfway there but already home

two weeks ago, taher and i closed on our new home. since the moment we put those keys on our keyrings, we've both been incredibly excited about this step we've taken. we've had countless conversations about paint colors and bookshelves and decor. these past few months have certainly been a time of change in our lives.

this last week, as moving day draws closer, we've begun packing. you don't realize just how much stuff you have until you begin to pack it into boxes. it's been overwhelming and i shudder to think of ever moving again.

today, there are only three days left before we move out of the city and into our lovely chosen suburb of choice. and it strikes me that in all the flurry of moving and the excitement of having an entire home to furnish our way, i've forgotten that i'm leaving the city! perhaps forever? obviously i'll find myself downtown to visit, hopefully often. but i won't live here anymore.

the city has been a backdrop to many of my favorite memories. i'm not worried; i know there are infinite memories still waiting to be created as we settle into our new home. but it still feels very strange to leave...

drive me around

i'm writing an article for which i needed to take a double-decker bus tour of Chicago (and review the experience.) while the 13 stops on the tour are all places i have visited multiple times, it was still very nice sitting on the second tier of the bus and listening to the guide narrate stories and facts about each building we passed.

usually when we drive through the city, we are headed somewhere and i rarely find myself looking up at the tops of the buildings anymore. every now and then, taher and i take a drive for the heck of it, but it's usually along lake shore drive. this tour was through the entire downtown area; we went as far north as water tower and as far south as museum campus. and everywhere in between.

i found myself re-inspired by the city. there is certainly a rich history to chicago; writing articles about the origins of various neighborhoods has given me a much broader knowledge of this history. but taking the tour i realized, again, what a unique set of circumstances have led to what chicago is today.

a huge part of this history is the Great Chicago Fire. the fire affected the city's politics, its economy, its culture and its architecture. it gave us this immense lakefront that belongs to everyone in the city and can never, ever be appropriated for just a few people's use.

anyway. tomorrow i take one more tour- the architectural cruise on the chicago river - and i am looking forward to it very much. this article has been fun to write.

TMLMTBGB

on saturday night we went to Too Much Light for the first time in a long time. it was one of those flawless evenings that seem to go right from beginning to end.

taher and i were joined by two good friends, m and m- we went to a diner first and had a fun dinner. ate slowly, laughed a lot, ate off of each others' plates, played dominoes once the plates were cleared.

after this we made our way to the show and got in line at the perfect time; found a good parking spot; made our way to the front of the crowd; got excellent seats; laughed uproariously at almost every play. it was great fun.

i felt nostalgic for college when we were standing in line; i remember standing in that line with my college friends and i think i will forever associate this show with that group of people. and yet on saturday night the company i held made the evening quite lovely and i love it when that happens.